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WHY CAN’T CHENNAI BE MORE LIKE NEW YORK? (Sreedevi Krishnan)

Published on 25 May, 2020
WHY CAN’T   CHENNAI BE MORE LIKE NEW YORK? (Sreedevi Krishnan)
 I have spent my entire life in India, except for 3to 6 months a year after my daughter had settled down in New York. And I’m an old, very ordinary woman with ordinary concerns; therefore my love for New York is based on simple, ordinary, and seemingly unimportant and mundane occurrences in my daily life.

To begin with, I enjoy my morning walk on the sidewalks of New York, looking at the clean, well-maintained roads, the houses of with well-mowed green lawns surrounded by colorful flower beds,(What makes it more admirable is, it’s the labor of love of the owners, not of gardeners.)and apartments with window boxes of cascading flowers. I don’t find any weeds or trash strewn around, as in Chennai. I find people walking around with toilet tissues and scoops ready to clean up the mess, the pets make. And I’m always greeted by warm, broad smiles and hearty, uninhibited, ‘good morning’ from fellow walkers. I find it a charming way to start a new day.

But in Chennai, you can only see   familiar but, serious, unsmiling faces or faces with a frown of fellow walkers. Once, during my morning walk, emboldened by my American experience, I tried to smile at a retired  judge, but the shock,embarrassment, suspicion,fear and doubt ,(About my sanity , of course!) flashed through his narrowing eyes and froze my smile .When my favorite Italian author,Dr.Buscaglia, advocated,”Smile that Universal language”, surely he did not mean Chennites!

I strongly feel that a morning walk is much more than an exercise, it’s a time to listen to the sound of your heart and mind, that inner music, but no, not  in  Chennai. Ask any woman, she will tell you that this city is the most unsafe one, for such relaxed morning walks due to the frequent ’chain-snatching’ by the two-wheeler gangs. After seeing the bruised neck of a woman-walker, my morning walk has now turned into a desperate ‘morning run’, to keep up with my husband’s long strides!


After morning walk, sipping my piping hot coffee and watching the numerous, twittering birds pecking at the red berries from the hedge, is another delightful experience in New York which is an impossibility in Chennai. Here too, I sit with my Coffee on the verandah swing and try to watch the birds in the clump of trees nearby. But ,I’m constantly interrupted by the cycle-bell of Newspaper boys, milk vendors, and the rock-salt seller carrying his load on his head , grunting   ‘Uppoo ’and the vegetable-vendor’s musical, ‘Amma,kai,Kareee ’, accompanied by  the ear-drum piercing  chimes of his  cart-bell .Yes, vegetable vendors should attract your attention but, what I object to is their reluctance to take a ‘no’ from me. Often, my ‘no ‘results in the vendor screaming the names of the vegetables in renewed enthusiasm,’Vendakkai, pavakkai, vazhakkai, koze’…till I’m forced to buy something, to be left in peace with my unfinished coffee. If I choose to sit inside to avoid drinking luke warm coffee after my vegetable purchase, I’m sure of facing the greater disturbance of the clatter and clash of cooking utensils and the grumbling of my part-time maid ,to whom I serve as her ‘punching bag .On rare occasions, when she is pleased with my generosity, I have to listen to her   tales of woe, drunken husband, ungrateful daughter, exploitation by other cruel memsaabs etc.  So, am I not justified in enjoying my morning coffee in the peace and tranquility of New York with no vendors, no maids and no door-bells?

Like walking, driving is also pleasure in the US, thanks to the excellent wide roads, one way traffic systems, that are heeded, fine cars and law-abiding road users. The roads are so good that I hardly felt the maximum speed when my son’s BMWconvertible raced from Tempe to Grand Canyon.Further, on that long road, unlike in Chennai, we had no trouble in finding our route, thanks to the down loaded roadmap with clear instructions about the route, including the high way numbers, the distance and the approximate time along each. There were also huge sign boards indicating the places, the lanes leading to them as well as the ‘Exits’. There was absolutely no disturbance of the honking

of horns. Traffic violators are caught either by patrolling police men or by cameras and ticketed regularly.

In Chennai, on the other hand, driving is a nightmare.Recklessdriving, signal jumping, speeding, constant horn-honking —especially to tease the women drivers—overtaking from the wrong side, pedestrians and cattle jumping in front of your car, brake-less fish carts, two-wheelers, blinding head lights during night drive etc.are only some of the traffic hazards ,that result in many of the accidents and loss of lives daily. In the absence of clear signboards, motorists often halt their vehicles in the middle of the road to enquire about directions and often people in Chennai seem to enjoy misleading the unsuspecting drivers by giving wrong directions. As though to justify this tendency, there is also a huge sign board with wrong instructions, which has misled me and several of my friends. When the sign for Chennai airport should have been to go forward, it clearly gives a left arrow, which is positively misleading!

Apart from all this, the traffic police in Chennai often turn a blind eye to the sons of VVIPs and VIPs driving recklessly, whereas Bush was fined, his driving privileges suspended temporarily for driving under the influence of alchohol, when his father was the Governor of Texas. Chennai alone has the rare distinction of all traffic being blocked for hours together, whenever Chief Minister Jayalalitha’s convoy passes by. Sometime ago, Airport Security in Chennai was taken to task for towing away a prominent politician’s car parked in a ‘No parking’ area. Compare this to Sara Churchill’s prosecution for drunken driving, even when her father was the Prime Minister of England!!
I enjoy the bliss of solitude in the US. During week days, I knit, embroider, cook, curl up with a good book or enjoy films uninterrupted unlike in Chennai. There, no visitor comes unannounced and your privacy is respected. No personal questions are ever asked; none there wanted to know why my 35 year old, well-settled son is not married or when my daughter is planning to have her second baby. In Chennai, leave alone friends, even acquaintances demand answers from me. My friends’ divorcee   daughter, a successful doctor in New York, attended a medical conference here  and was shocked at  the nosey people around  here ,while she is loved, respected  and left alone in the US.
Another reason I love New York is, I feel refreshingly young there, as I move with enthusiastic, old people much older than I, who have a passion for living. They are definitely happier, healthier and a great deal more positive than the old people in Chennai. Their celebration of life is certainly infectious.

I remember gratefully how I spent a splendid day with my daughter’s 85 year old, kindly neighbor in New York. She drove me to the ferry, took a ride in the ferry, later got tickets for ‘Miss. Saigon’, a Broad way play, waiting patiently in an hour long queue, took me to a restaurant for a hearty meal, followed by watching and enjoying the touching play.  

Similarly,   I happened to accompany an 80 year old lady to a beautician. She wanted advice on the colors and kind of clothing that suited her and she was willing to pay 100 dollars, as consultancy fees! I cannot help admiring such old people so full of life, who give me hope. How wonderful to note that death is certainly not the goal of the old! It is encouraging to see restaurants, movie theatres, and all entertainments give huge concessions for senior citizens in the US.

Food is comparatively cheap in the US and eating out is an enjoyable experience. You can also order home delivery of food and if by chance the food is delivered later than the promised time, you get it absolutely free! How nice! There are attractive concessions for  ‘Senior citizens’, certainly a more desirable way of    respecting age than calling them ‘aunty’, ’uncle’ ‘grandma’ or ‘grandpa’.

This brings me to another  bright side of my stay in New York .People there call me by my name, while in Chennai, neighbors  shop keepers and even strangers call me ‘mami’or ‘aunty’ .    Even those in the same age group call each other ‘mami, as though   to call a person by name is an affront to her age. My 60 -year -old friend once told me ,how she hated her neighbor’s 10-year- old son calling her, ‘patty’ .In New York my five- year -old grandson calls his 80-plus-old neighbor, ‘Mrs. Wheeler,  not ‘grandma’. To me, this Chennai practice of being addressed as ‘mami’, ‘patty’ etc is not a sign of respect, but a downright insult.  
After a few months’ stay in New York, I reach Chennai feeling resuscitated        re-energized and rejuvenated, but my new-found enthusiasm wears off soon. Everyone around me reminds me of my old age. Several women of my age are members of the Ladies club right across the street from my house .They regularly come in their chauffeur-driven cars to attend religious discourses

 learn ‘bhajans’, go for pilgrimages etc.   They corner me and ask me, why I’m not interested in the activities of the club, which is only a stone’s throw from my house.  When I give some polite excuses, I detect a veneer of accusation in their eyes for not being religious, God-fearing, philosophical, and other-worldly.   Even the doctors here think that once you are retired, you have no right to expect good health. When I go for a routine check, my doctor says, “At your age, you’re lucky, you must see people with diabetes, heart-problems etc.” It is meant to be a compliment but, all the same, to me, a sad reminder of my old age!!

Recently, I went to a nearby clinic as I was running temperature.  The young duty doctor diagnosed it as flu and prescribed some medicine. Then I asked her whether my back-ache was also due to the flu, she smiled and said,’Aunty, that maybe due to your old age”. With a supreme effort to control my anger, I laughed and told her I did not age in two days!! 

Shopping in the States is a pleasurable experience. All shopping malls have spacious parking places unlike in Chennai. You go to any shop; you are greeted with a sweet smile by the extremely courteous staff .They are ever ready to help you.   Once, I bought a suit for my grandson in SanJose with the assurance that    I could exchange it in New York, in case it did not fit him. The suit was too tight for my grandson, but I could go to the showroom only after three months. So, I had no hope of getting an exchange, when I approached the counter.  But, to my shock, no questions were asked, and I got a bigger size by paying the difference of   2dollars! In Chennai, I went to   the biggest, poshest show room for children’s wear. I was happy to see the air-conditioned, spacious show room with smartly dressed, English-speaking sales girls and boys. I bought a  frock for my 4  year old niece in Kerala, but before I paid ,I asked the owner whether I could exchange it after a week, if it did  not fit my niece. I was hurt the way he rudely refused, throwing to the winds the pretence of     his earlier civility. I could not help comparing this with my New York experience.
 
After enjoying my morning coffee to free margaritas, I went to JFK airport for my    flight back to Chennai. The frightening atmosphere at JFK airport, machinegun-toting cops, tightened security, the ban on anyone coming inside to see you and the thorough checking of hand baggage almost   made me a bundle of nerves. Then, just before boarding the flight, this smart, white young man looked at my picture in the passport and then at my face with scrutinizing eyes.  Slowly, his smile gave way to a broad grin as he drawled,”Shree daiveee, hmmm, where’s your BonieeKaapoor?Have a nice flight Shreedaivee”.I laughed ,all my fears  disappeared instantly and wished with all my heart,   “Why can’t Chennai be more like New York?, in the same vein as Prof.Higgins,who wondered, “Why can’t girls be more like boys?”
                                                                                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        



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sherry 2020-08-20 19:24:16
Well written....gives us a lot to think about. ...
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